Losing a loved one is probably the most tragic event in anyone’s life. Being able to cope with that loss can sometimes be even more difficult. Even though we know death is a natural phenomenon, we always find ourselves ill-prepared when losing someone we love. We feel so much pain, emptiness, guilt, anger and resentment. That too is natural because of the love and bond we shared with that person. There really is no magic formula to deal with grief. Everyone deals with grief in a unique way. There are, however, a few things you can do to alleviate the pain, one of which is sharing stories of bereavement.

Why is sharing stories of bereavement so important? If you have lost a loved one, one thing you might feel is loneliness. You feel lonely whenever you watch a movie and think about a joke you would have shared with your loved one. You feel lonely whenever you wake up without seeing their radiant smile or hearing that sweet voice. Loneliness, in this case, might not necessarily mean not being around other people.

In this case, loneliness is the feeling that those around you are not able to meet your current needs and fill that emptiness that comes with grief. This means that you might have dozens of friends and/or family members near you, but you still feel lonely because that someone who you could confine in and who ‘gets you’ is missing. The truth is, no one might ever be able to completely fill that void, but there are people around you who can relate – people who can hold your hand and walk with you. You are not alone, this why sharing stories of bereavement is important.

The Healing Power Behind Sharing Stories of Bereavement

Sharing your grief story is important because it helps you to connect with people who have gone through or are going through similar situations. Just knowing that you are not alone in this is a great relief. Sharing stories of bereavement can help heal emotional wounds because it requires you to take a closer look at those memories, rather than avoiding them or running away from them – pretending they are not there. Those memories might never go away, no matter how much you try to avoid them. Sharing your grief stories helps you learn to cope with them and move forward with them – in a healthy way.

Sharing stories of bereavement is leaning on people who care about you, or who have gone through comparable experiences. There are people around you willing to take some of that weight off your shoulders, but they don’t know how, or they want you to ‘let them in’. Share your story, tell them how you feel, and tell them what you need – whether it’s lending a sympathetic ear or a shoulder to cry on. ‘Opening up’ and sharing your grief story is not a sign of weakness, it takes strength and courage to do that.

“Vulnerability isn’t good or bad. It’s not what we call a dark emotion, nor is it always a light, positive experience. Vulnerability is the core of all emotions and feelings. To feel is to be vulnerable. To believe vulnerability is weakness is to believe that feeling is weakness. To foreclose on our emotional life out of a fear that the costs will be too high is to walk away from the very thing that gives purpose and meaning to living.” – Dr. Brené Brown

As stated earlier, there is no magic formula or specific method to grieving. Different people cope with grief in different ways. However, while you are searching for the most appropriate ways to cope with your loss, it is important to remember that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Sharing your grief story is not a weakness, it is probably the most fearless thing you can do at this point in your life, one which could help you feel less lonely and isolated.

Categories: Sharing

22 Comments

Bruce Peters · October 19, 2019 at 9:55 pm

duppydomTEAM – I certainly believe in the healing power behind sharing stories of bereavement. Recently, I was in the hospital comforting a friend whose sister had just died. Whenever I am in this predicament, I find sharing stories of bereavement is sometimes the best and only way to console someone who has just lost a loved one. I think in times of grief, people find it comforting to know that others are also going through it. Thank you for writing on this topic.

    duppydomTEAM · October 20, 2019 at 5:52 pm

    You are absolutely right Bruce. When we don’t know how to act or behave in a new situation, we often look to others for guidance. This is why stories of bereavement can be so powerful – these stories can help guide us when we are grieving – we soon learn that what we are feeling and how we are behaving is normal. 😢🥺

    S. Jakes · October 23, 2019 at 9:48 pm

    👍

    Lisa Steffler · October 24, 2019 at 3:20 am

    🙏

Adaego M. Azi · October 20, 2019 at 3:45 am

Just reading this article is making me emotional. There is nothing worse that losing someone you love. “You feel lonely whenever you watch a movie and think about a joke you would have shared with your loved one. You feel lonely whenever you wake up without seeing their radiant smile or hearing that sweet voice” – these are the types of things that are the worse part of death – to this day, I still pick up the phone to call my grandmother💔💖💖💝. Thank you duppydomTEAM 💖

    duppydomTEAM · October 20, 2019 at 5:52 pm

    Thank you Adaego. Recently, a friend used the term “love memory”. He said it was akin to “muscle memory”. When you lose someone you love, their “love memories” are still fresh in your mind even years later, and this is why you behave as if he/she is still alive. For example, expecting the person to walk through the door, thinking that it’s that time of year for the two of you to go on that annual trip, catching yourself thinking about plans for his/her upcoming birthday, etc. This is all part of the bereavement process. 💑

      Adaego M. Azi · October 23, 2019 at 4:13 pm

      👏👏

    Lisa Steffler · October 24, 2019 at 3:22 am

    🙏

Nadine Wu · October 20, 2019 at 6:43 am

Although this is an important topic, like most people, I am not sure what to say. And I just realized “💭” that in typing what I just typed, this is why people should share stories of bereavement. I watched the video at the end of the article – sad but a good video. It shows that even in death, humor can be comforting. I also think the idea of “we don’t ‘move on’ from grief. We move forward with it” is an important lesson we should share in times of bereavement.

    duppydomTEAM · October 20, 2019 at 5:53 pm

    Nadine, thank you for your comments. Yes, Nora McInerny’s TED Talk/video is quite compelling. Here is an excerpt from the blurb about the video: [Most powerfully, she encourages us to shift how we approach grief. “A grieving person is going to laugh again and smile again,” she says. “They’re going to move forward. But that doesn’t mean that they’ve moved on.”]—moving forward with grief and moving on from grief are not the same thing—indeed, a good lesson about bereavement. 📹

S. Jakes · October 21, 2019 at 1:28 am

Another interesting article 👍. Sadly, even though I am fairly young, I have a lot of stories about bereavement. I have been around death since I was very young. The main thing I can say about death is that you tend to grieve differently each time, but each time you grieve it tears away a little piece of your heart – each time you grieve you are never the same again. And yes, I am all for sharing grief stories. If your story can help someone else who is mourning, I am all for it. Thank you 💛💛💛

    duppydomTEAM · October 22, 2019 at 2:43 am

    Thank you, S. Jakes. I am very sorry to hear that you started experiencing grief at such a young age. Hopefully, at least you can take solace in knowing that exposure to death at a young age allowed you to grow up knowing how precious life is. And I agree, death does tear away pieces of your heart—even experiencing the death of one loved one can. I am sure you have heard the bereavement quote—”when a loved one dies, they don’t die all at once, they die in pieces over time.” 🕛🕛

      S. Jakes · October 23, 2019 at 9:42 pm

      Thank you very much duppydomTEAM for responding to my comment 👍 ❤👏. I think this is the bereavement quote you were referring to: “When someone you love dies, and you’re not expecting it, you don’t lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over a long time — the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of her that are gone. Just when the day comes — when there’s a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that she’s gone, forever — there comes another day, and another specifically missing part.” – John Irving

    Lisa Steffler · October 24, 2019 at 3:19 am

    🙏

Amie Warwick · October 21, 2019 at 6:56 am

I realize that this article is about bereaving the loss of a person, but I would like to say that bereaving the loss of a pet is just as devastating. I lost my childhood friend (“scruffy” – a beautifully hearted Cockapoo) about 5 year ago. I was so brokenhearted, at first, I could not get out of bed. I had to miss a week from work and it seriously took be about a year to feel “normal” again. The worst part was that people who don’t have pets, do not understand how someone can be so attached to an animal. I am still not at the point where I can get a new pet to replace my “scruffy”, and I still think about that beautiful face. Perhaps there should be grief stories about coping with the loss of dogs.

    duppydomTEAM · October 22, 2019 at 2:45 am

    Amie, thank you for this new perspective on the article. I think all animal lovers would share your sentiment when it comes to grieving the loss of a beloved pet. And you are correct, most non-animal lovers would not understand why people might be so upset about the loss of a pet – particularly if you wanted time off work to grieve. The bottom line is – love is love – it comes in all shapes and sizes. And here is a website that might offer some comfort, even five years later: Coping with Losing a Pet 💖🐶

    Adaego M. Azi · October 23, 2019 at 4:16 pm

    🐕❤❤

    S. Jakes · October 23, 2019 at 9:50 pm

    👍

D'Gauntlett · October 22, 2019 at 3:31 am

Death & Grief is the most painful- heart-shattering experience I’ve had to date. I’m forever changed, a life lesson that encourages me to stay closer to those alive and love them deeper. On the flip side, one uncaring individual found the grieving process a nuisance and implied “it’s time to get on with living”. No-one should ever be that bold and insensitive in situations of death and grieving.
Some might never overcome, I truly understand how it could happen, seeking counseling from a reputable establishment is recommended. I still shed tears for my beloved 9 1/2 years later. But I find comfort in my faith in God and His words in the Bible. Jesus Himself wept for His friend Lazarus after speaking with the sisters Martha and Mary as they mourned, even though Jesus knew He would bring Lazarus back to life. John 11. 32-36. A show of love and compassion. If we have the right perspective about life and death the intensity of grieving will diminish with time.
I can recall the days I couldn’t mention or hear my beloved name without bawling my eyes out. The worst was sitting daily at the kitchen table looking at his empty chair. The sound of his laughter constantly floating in my head, you name it, I envisioned us and cried. Thank God for the passing of time, caring Family and Friends, I am ok. Yes, talking and sharing is a powerful HEALING tool, one that should never to be overlooked.
Another great post. Thank you duppydom.

    duppydomTEAM · October 23, 2019 at 7:33 pm

    I agree, even though death and bereavement are horrific, they do drive us closer to the loved ones around us and often give us a more meaningful perspective on life. And as you have indicated, there are many ways to pave the road to healing – for example, counseling, talking, sharing, time, or any other coping mechanism that someone finds effective. I am glad to know that one of your coping mechanisms is “reaching for a higher power”. You are not alone – many find much comfort in religion. I am very glad to know that you are now in the midst of HEALING!! Thank you for sharing, D’Gauntlett. Many can learn from your grief story. ⛪🙏❤

    S. Jakes · October 23, 2019 at 9:46 pm

    Sorry to hear about your loss Dgauntlett and I am glad to see that you are moving forward. Thank you for sharing. 🤗❤

    Lisa Steffler · October 24, 2019 at 3:17 am

    “Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.” (1 Thessalonians 4:13-14). God bless you, DGauntlett.

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