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Amara Kone


A Different Definition Of Love

Posted On:29-Nov-2020/12:07 pm

Love is a beautiful emotion; one which allows us to show our family, friends, and partner how much we cherish them. When you love someone, you sacrifice a lot for them – you give them your attention, deeply care for them, and also do your best to make sure you’re always there for them.

There are different kinds of love, but in this duppydom, we’ll be focusing on the type of love that exists between adult males and females. This kind of love, otherwise known as “Eros” involves a lot of romance, sexual passion and physical intimacy – [“Eros is a concept in ancient Greek philosophy referring to sensual or passionate love, from which the term erotic is derived. Eros has also been used in philosophy and psychology in a much wider sense, almost as an equivalent to ‘life energy’”]. These days, there are so many misconceptions about ‘love' and these wrong ideas are gradually making the word lose its essence. When someone walks up to you and says, “I love you”, what do they really mean? Do they mean “I want to have sex with you?” Or do they mean “I like your body shape or financial status?” Well, you’re about to find out. Here are some of the best ways to define love:

1. Love Is Not Exploitative

Love is more about giving than taking. If you love someone, you need to act selflessly towards them and also make lots of sacrifices for them. These days, most people go into relationships and try to take advantage of their partners on the pretext of loving them. That is selfishness. Real love is not lopsided, it involves an equal amount of effort coming from both partners. Love should be progressive. If a person truly loves you, they will do all their best to help you grow. We have all heard about unconditional love. Even though we know what it means, a lot of us don’t practice it. If someone loves you, and you love them with conditions (e.g., I can’t love you if you weight more than 110 lbs), you are being exploitative. By putting conditions on your love, you are taking advantage of the person, because you know the person will accept your conditions because they love you and want you to continue loving them – it’s almost like a hostage situation.

2. Love Is Not Infatuation

How many more divorces or breakups before we realize that love transcends sexual attraction? While love also involves sexual attraction, there’s more to it – unlike infatuation, it stands the test of time. These days, so many people confuse love with infatuation, and this usually doesn’t end well, because when the sexual desire burns out, what is left is only hatred and regret. Learn to always give your feelings time and you’ll be surprised how temporal most of them can be. Even if we believe in “love at first sight”, we should still give our sight some time to settle, then see what our sight tells us. Not in all cases; but in most, “love at first sight” is really “infatuation at first sight”, or “sexual attraction at first sight”.

3. Love Is A Choice

When couples take church vows, they are made to recite a certain line which reads, “…for better for worse”. In my opinion, that phrase clearly defines how loving someone should be. Love should be a decision; a decision to accept a person not just for their strengths but for their weaknesses as well.

Intolerance is one of the major factors that leads to broken relationships. When people don’t know how to manage the flaws of their partners, they usually end up going their separate ways. We all know that no one is actually perfect, so, it’s important to discover the strengths and weaknesses of a person before you decide to commit to them. When you do this, you’ll not only be prepared to love them wholly, you’ll also be ready to help them become better versions of themselves.

Now that you know the true definitions of love, it’s time to go find the love of your life. And if you’ve found them already, I hope these tips help bring happiness to your relationship. Good luck!


1 : Love is not exploitative.

2 : Love is not infatuation.

3 : Love is a choice.

Category:  Emotions / Subcategory:  Love

Tags: eros, hatred, sacrifice, romance, regret, unconditional, selfless, passion, intimacy, exploit, infatuation, choice, sex, intolerance

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Nadine Wu


Amara--I like all three points. But is love not always a choice? I sorta understand, but I do not get this point completely.

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S. Jakes


Amara, now that I am in love, I look at love differently. I am sure we have been in relationships where our boyfriend gives us all kinds of conditions--not the case with my current boyfriend. When you are in love you KNOW the difference between that and infatuation.

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Amelia Roosevelt


I think love is a "selfless regard" for the other. I agree with your decoding as Love is not exploitative, Love is not infatuation and Love is a choice. For me, Love is something indescribable, something has to be felt by because it runs through every root of emotion - bringing out a Lucifer or a Michael.