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Bruce Peters


Accepting What You Can’t Change

Posted On:19-Sep-2020/10:07 pm

In life, we will face many events and experiences that will affect us. Some of these things will be positive experiences: e.g., marriage, love, family, and good food. But with the good comes the bad, and we will have to experience things in life that we don’t prefer, or we outright hate. However, without the bad things in life we wouldn’t truly understand and appreciate the good things. Sometimes though, we are able to directly alter or change the negative aspects of our lives and put ourselves on a better path to success. Other times though, we simply aren’t as lucky.

This life lesson is about finding the parts of our lives that we deem unsatisfactory and identifying whether we can change them or not. There are always problems we face that can be fixed our time and with hard work. Unfortunately, there are also problems that we can’t change, no matter how hard we work at them or how badly we want them to change. Understanding the difference can help us evaluate our issues and help improve our lives, because sometimes we must accept what we can’t change.

This sentiment is more relevant now than before, with the COVID-19 pandemic sweeping the world. Of course, the pandemic is something terrible that the world is forced to go through. However, this is simply something we cannot change. Nonetheless, we can be smart about it. We can wear our masks, wash our hands, and be as safe as possible, but the pandemic itself is not up to us. While isolation and lockdowns can get us down, we have to remember that we can’t change it. It’s happening, the best we can do is find a way to get through to the other side.

This kind of problem contrasts vastly with something in our lives we can directly change. For example, a friend of my girlfriend was recently very depressed due to her living situation. She had a few roommates who she did not always get along with very well. She found them to be spiteful, argumentative, and grossly messy. Instead of accepting this, she decided to change what she could. She went apartment hunting, put out ads, talked to whoever she could, and eventually she found a condo to rent. She found something distasteful in her life and took the steps to change it for the better. This wasn’t an easy task, particularly during a pandemic. It took her months of searching for the perfect living space. But her hard work paid off, and she is now in a much happier situation than before.

On a more personal note, sometimes I come across situations in the business world that I can’t change and sometimes find distasteful or hard to accept. The company that I work for has been releasing employees over the course of the last five months. Some of these employees worked for my team and I have known them for years. Even though we don’t interact outside of work, I consider a few of them my friends. Some of these people have families and are the sole provider. I have been getting calls all summer from some of them, because I was their manager and they are still looking for help from me. Some tell me how depressed and empty they feel, and I have to refrain from telling them that is how I feel as well. I wish I could help, but there is nothing I can do. I don’t own the company; I just work there. I have even talked to my boss about this, but she is in the same position I am in – there is nothing she can do. So, I keep telling myself that I must accept this because I can’t change it. Of course, this does not make me feel any better. My girlfriend has become my therapist because we talk about this all the time.

It’s hard to accept that we can’t change everything we find distasteful. But we must always remember that while we can’t change everything, we can change some aspects of our lives. By accepting what we can’t change and changing what we can, we are able to improve our lives for the better. There’s no point dwelling on the things we can’t change (even though we might feel lousy about it), but working towards changing what we can, may improve our lives.


1 : In life, we must identify what we can change and what we can’t change.

2 : Trying to change what we can’t control will only lead to sorrow.

3 : Working toward changing what we can, may improve our lives.

Category:  Change / Subcategory:  You Can’t Change Everything

Tags: positive, negative, experiences, problems, control, accept, depressed, employee, life, improve, pandemic

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Nadine Wu


Bruce--when you think about it, there are a lot of things that we have no control over. The younger and more disadvantaged you are, the fewer things you can control even when it comes to your own life--just watch the news on television. Sometimes it is hard accepting that there are things you cannot change.

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Amara Kone


It is very hard not being able to change things we find distasteful in life. These are some of the things (and people) that can make life difficult. It is horrible that so many people lost their job because of covid and nothing can be done about it. I wish I had a magic wand.

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Adaego M. Azi


Bruce, you really make some good points. I finally figured out that there is no point getting angry about the coronavirus. I wish it never happened and I was still living a normal life, but it did happen, and I have to accept it. I think about this every morning on the way to work. If you change the things you can, you really can have a better life right now. Thank you, Bruce :0)