My husband has been admitted to hospital. I was filling my Hospitalization expenses claim form.
Name of the employee –
Employment number –
And then, “On behalf of self or dependent”
There was a sudden hesitation. If it is not for myself, it should be for a dependent. But, is he a dependent of me? Isn’t it me that is his dependent?
Yes, once upon a time it was. But today in this 21st-century dependence depends on the situation. Sometimes it’s me depending on him, sometimes it could be him. Being working women not only we can provide for our needs, but we can also provide for our families too. As in the case of mine he - the head of the household, become a dependent of me, in the eyes of my company.
Weird, isn’t it?
But that is the truth. Whether there is a man in our life or not, we can go on. We can decide the fate of our lives - whether to be a leader in society or to have our own empires.
In the era of survival, the woman voluntarily scooped under his wing to get that most wanted protection from the dangerous outside world, and on behalf of that man wanted her devotion, love and affection, care for him and his children? In addition to the cuddle, there was a need for survival behind the relationship of a man and a woman.
So, there was a kind of exchange.
Not like in the hunter-gatherer era, we no more hiding in a den under his protective eyes. Not because the dangers thinned out, but we learned how to face them ourselves. We learned how to tackle evil. In addition to the expectations of him and the society to look after and take care of them (his family), we have extended our wings. We set ourselves free. Free from the bond of exchange. No more we like to be caged in a house, or someone to set rules for us dictating what to do or not to do. We are independent.
In the other way, most of the times men are not with the family. Either gone far away for earning, learning or entertaining. Bonds become loose. The necessity for his protection and the role of provider gone, he is also going out of the bond.
This is not what it always. Still, the society seeks kindness, responsibility, compassion and care from the woman and honesty, power, strength and provider role from the man (Pew Research Centre, USA, 2018).
I totally agree with that. Still, I‘m reluctant to consider me as a provider for the family and I think it is my responsibility to take care of my family. To protect what he earned and his property. I think most of you out there agree with me. We still are attached to our basic roles. (A kind of satisfaction is in there)
However, things are changing. There are more divorces, more and more unmarried people, and low bondage within families, low birth rates and adoring freedom to family lives. No more there is a huge consideration for the other partner.
I got some insecure feeling with the thought. Is this the end of the man-woman relationship? Will this come to a point where they don’t need each other anymore? Will there be a day man and woman relationship become a mere style, passion or just a commodity like a car, which could be replaced from time to time for a better version. Will the concept of the family be extinct?
Some say the man is like a riverbank, keeps the beautifully emotional feminine soul within her boundaries. They say the masculine soul is the source of stability for the woman. They say, the need of a "modern-day woman" is attention, admiration, respect, companionship and his ears for her words.
I still long for the love and care I receive from my partner. I cherish the safe environment within his arms. I love the attention and cuddle I receive when I need that most. I am afraid to be a commodity which could be replaced at any time.
I wish we could live long in a loving world.
1 : Marriage bonds bound beyond boarders
2 : The bond between man and woman is under extinctionCategory: Marriage / Subcategory: changing role of the life-partner
Tags: man-woman relationship, necessity and commodity version of marriage, marriage, family, future