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D'Gauntlett

 

Unqualified Micromanager

Posted On:25-Aug-2019/12:40 pm

 

The most irritating people on planet earth are the ones who ask for help, gives assignments then tries micromanaging, by standing over your shoulder or from a distance. Totally sabotaging progress, making one feel incompetent and uncomfortable.

Why? Because they’re impatient, self-centered, and overbearing.

Jody and James are twin brothers, their relationship is the mirror of perfection. Their love for each other transcends all others. They do everything together, getting married to twin sisters on the same day, sharing the same house and even taking vacations together.

 As their 10th anniversary approaches they began discussing what to do for their big day. They adore spending time with family and friends but the cost for a venue and its catering service would leave them broke. James suggested he could cater the meal if Jody agrees to give him space and not try to be an unqualified micromanager. Jody have always been obsessed with injecting his opinions, regardless of having knowledge on the subject or not.

And while his family tolerates him, his friends find him overbearing and often keep their projects to themselves.

After much debate, the brothers agreed to surprise their wives, the responsibilities will be shared by both men. James is known for his brilliant and creative mind in the kitchen, so he’ll cater and provide wine. His presentations never fail to impress. Jody will be in charge of invitations, decorations and music. Jody offered to share the total cost of everything but James declined saying they both can pay for whatever responsibilities they’ve taken on. Is this a sweet deal for Jody or is James trying to keep an interfering micromanager at bay? Jody is not pleased with his Brother declining his offer but agreed to move ahead.

Meanwhile, their wives are talking about what they’d love to do for their anniversary, they’re checking out names and prices of exotic places to discuss with their husbands. A European Cruise seems exciting, but expense, maybe Caribbean, however, they are hesitant to discuss it as their budget is already at its breaking point.

As the anniversary date gets closer, James is putting things in place. With today’s availability to technology all one needs is a plan and a smart phone. Which is how James is handling his part of the planning. Jody is NOT tech savvy and is doing things the old fashion way. He is secretly keeping an eye on James and is concerned that nothing is getting done. If Jody is not careful tempers could flare, threatening the surprise. James refuses to indulge Jody and brushes him off by telling him he’s got enough to deal with. Jody stays quite for a while, but unable to curb his behavior he soon find himself at odds again with his brother. One evening James was just in time to see Jody in his office flipping through folders to find receipts that would validate what action have been taken. James was outraged. Jody was not fazed. He requested a list of things already done, otherwise he will be implementing his own plans. Frustrated and mentally tired James reminded his brother that their wives would be ashamed and disappointed with such behavior. They retired for the evening very unhappy.

Next morning James admitted that he had a painful and sleepless night thinking about the disagreement. However, he made it clear to his brother, something had to change. If he refuses to see error of his ways they won’t be spending future anniversaries together. Both men were at an impasse so the wives had to be told. They were shocked that things had gotten to that point but were happy to assist with the final preparations. The party was a huge success and everyone was delighted to share in the evening’s event. The brothers and their wives had a meeting some days later and came to an understanding that professional help must be sought. Jody it turned out was suffering from severe anxiety. They supported each other as a family each taking turns attending doctors appointments and the brothers are best friends again.

Are you like Jody? Can you recognize your shortcomings? If told, would you take offense at the suggestion to seek professional help? It’s difficult to admit, but it’s important we take note of our attitudes and behavior. Especially if we are hurting others.

Takeaways:

1 : We must have enough confidence in the individual and allow them to work freely

2 : Recognizing our shortcomings is not always easy

Category:  Giving/Getting Advice / Subcategory:  Sabotaging Progress

Tags: Irritating, assignments, unqualified micromanager, sabotage progress, obsessed, no knowledge, anniversary

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Lisa Steffler

27-Aug-2019

DGauntlett, I related to your article because Jody acts just like my older sister. Because she is the oldest, she thinks she knows everything and she should control everything. It has gotten so bad that I rarely invite her to anything, unless I must, and when I do, I send the invite only after all the preparations have been made. I do not think she suffers from anxiety or anything like that, I think she suffers from big-sister-knows-everything syndrome!! Awesome article!!

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Bruce Peters

26-Aug-2019

Being a project manager, I thought I would give my two cents here. Micromanaging is something managers think about a lot, because it can be demotivating to some team members. If an employee is highly skilled in his or her job, then giving that person autonomous work, is fitting. However, if the team member is not as skilled, then more supervision is needed-at times, team members see more supervision as micromanaging-this can be a catch-22. Thank you for the duppydom Gauntlett-twins marrying twins. I have never heard of that before.

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Adaego M. Azi

25-Aug-2019

DGAUNTLETT, in my case, it was a micromanaging manager. Just like the title of your article, he was very unqualified. So, there he was telling me about my job, and he had no idea about what I did. And just like DC said, my life was miserable. I ended up quitting my job because of him. I enjoyed reading your article. Welcome to duppydom.com

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D. C. Lawrence

25-Aug-2019

D'Gauntlett -good read. Your duppydom highlights one of the reasons why mental health issues and mental illness need professional attention-it can affect others-particularly family members. Fortunately, Jody was able to recognize his maladaptive behaviors and was willing to seek expert help. Many are not able to self-diagnose and still, others think therapy is a waste of time. On a different note-having a relative who is a micromanager is one thing but having a boss who is constantly lording over you, is another. More often than not, there is not much you can do about a helicopter boss-your work life is simply miserable.