She is a living legend.
A lady in her late nineties, she is a very beautiful woman, clean, neat and tidy in her work. Her best friend was my mum. My mum had spent most of her early years at home with this friend.
When I was at home mum used to tell many things about her friend – how she had to take care of all her younger siblings (not one or two - nine of them), how her very devoted marriage failed, how depressed she was for some time, the way she built up her life after that – so many things. Those were inspiring. Very interesting to understand ways of life.
When my mum was gone she was so lonely, calls me often to chat with her – to recall her life, to enjoy what she went through.
Let us call her Lizbeth.
Despite the divorce, being in the same trade, she often had to work with her ex-husband. A messy person he was it seemed, she had to support him in managing his expenses and to organize his daily schedule. “He always asked me what to do. I could not ignore him.” She told me.
One day he asked her for a favour. (For me, it is a massive request – something unimaginable). He wanted to marry a woman he was dating for some time and wanted Lizbeth to make her wedding dress.
If you were Lizbeth, what would you do?
She prepared a beautiful dress for his new bride.
Even after the marriage, he wanted her as his best friend, mentor, guider (I failed to find the perfect word to describe that relationship) for life. She never claimed any alimony. Had a daughter and son from that marriage she let her daughter inherit his property and brought up both her children to be at helms of their professional lives. To extract their capabilities to the last drop was her ambition. She wanted to show him how successful one could become. She supported him too, to stand tall in his life the same way.
When he died, she did not attend his funeral. She didn’t want anyone to know that she was the supportive pillar of his life. She knew his weaknesses, she accepted him as far as she could and left when it was time. Despite all that, she did not abandon him in his life.
Once I came across a quote. “Love is not what you say, Love is what you do.”
If I had heard her story earlier, I would have been confused. But, today at my ripened age of 53, I can recognize the purest love in her actions.
Men are born to dare and are vulnerable in their role in this world. The woman who understands this fate adores him, cures him and restores him in his daring self. He was blessed with such a woman.
To be a true lover, you need not own him.
It is the difference between “like someone” and “love someone”. When you like a flower you just pluck it. When you love, you water it daily. - Lord Buddha. The plucking makes it die sooner and cease to exist in the form you loved. It is the appreciation which depicts love, not the possession (Keeping with you, killing him/her internally).
Isn’t it better to see him/ her being happy in their lives rather than killing his/ her true self? For me adoring them from a distance is better than caging them.
She taught me a big lesson, for my life.
Let us love our soulmates dearly and let them bloom.
1 : Love does not possess, it cares
2 : Weigh your relationship with the amount of concern for the other
3 : Love blooms livesCategory: Relationships / Subcategory: A relationship depends on what goes on in it
Tags: Love, divorce, care in love, understanding, like and love