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Amelia Roosevelt

 

Some Nothings Could Be Everything

Posted On:06-Jul-2019/12:49 am

I was in Chennai. Unknown Chennai.

We were at the famous Apollo Hospital. My daughter has undergone spinal surgery. Only I, my husband and my daughter were at that foreign place without a single person known to us. Without anyone speaking our language.

It was so lonely.

My daughter was in the Intensive Care, after the surgery. I was at the door waiting for my turn to go in. It was the most dreadful moment in my life. It was on her spine. One mistaken step could leave her paralyzed for life. After a few minutes, I was allowed to go in. hands wiped with sanitizer I went inside. My little daughter was in her anaesthetic sleep. She was about 13 years old. (But for me, she is my little daughter forever. Isn’t she?) Faced the surgery all alone, frail and thin my girl was there, awaiting someone to wake her up.

I slowly touched her hand. She opened her eyes.

“Mum, Mum, I cannot move this hand.”

That was her first announcement.

“Which one? This?” I was afraid to even touch her. "Maybe it’s just gone numb from keeping in the same position.”

“No, I can’t move it.”

Pressing hard my fears and tears back, I gently massaged her little arm for a few minutes. I was so frightened. Will it be permanent?

It was so shocking. My daughter cannot move her hand after the surgery. She was an active little girl before all this. What have I done to my daughter?

I had no one to share my dreadful thoughts. It was the first time I felt such a “No one is there” feeling. I didn’t know any of the persons around me, neither they could speak my language. I was crying but even afraid to cry, because I don’t know how they will take it. No one asked me why I was crying (they might have guessed some dreadful thing because I was at the entrance to the ICU). I still can remember how desperate I was to see my mum, my family and friends far, far away from me, to share my darkest dream. I was lost in a huge human jungle.

Two days went and my daughter was taken to another chamber for after surgery checkups. The numbness in the hand was cured, but some hard feeling was throbbing at my neck as to kill me at any moment.

I was walking beside the wheelchair. I was walking beside a wheelchair with my little girl who had sprinted, jumped and bounced around me like a little rabbit, before all this.

I was no more able to hold my sorrow. Tears burst forth like a broken dam. My whole face was soaked from the struggle to wipe those off, I was barely grasping my steps. With one wipe off I tried to keep a hold on to the armrest and our attendant slowed down further to support me. He looked in my eyes. My sorrow was written all over his face. He let me too, to push the chair and in his language tried his best to calm me down. Despite the language barrier, I was grasping what he said. He was telling me not to worry. Your daughter will be okay. His eyes, and gestures all were convincing me that I was not alone. They care. They can feel what we go on.

By the time we reach our destination I was quite calm, peaceful enough to thank him with my whole heart. I had a bit at home feeling. A person was there who cared for my feelings. It was damn peaceful.

For every day in my life, I am thankful for that kind-hearted human being for everything.

Never be afraid to share others sorrow. It is time you are most needed. We are a species who excelled in communication. Use it at the time of need. Be the real human.

 

Takeaways:

1 : We as experts in communication use it when needed most

2 : One word from you could heal a soul

Category:  Communication / Subcategory:  Use that expertise at the time of need

Tags: communication, empathy, loneliness, unknown land, stranger to savior,

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Adaego M. Azi

08-Jul-2019

Thanks for the link Amelia. I will take a look.

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Amelia Roosevelt

06-Jul-2019

Thanks, Azi, thanks, Lawrance. That experience was something I wanted to share with the whole world. In today's hasty life we ignore others feelings, but they are a part of our lives. We need each other so much despite being strangers. It is a small world. And for Azi, yes, you are very welcome to this little island full of warm-hearted people. We are in the focus of many leading economies due to the critical location in the Indian ocean and facing many turbulences caused by that. Despite all that it is one of the beautiful countries you should visit in your lifetime. The best time is when Esala Perahera is there. You can watch it on http://www.sridaladamaligawa.lk/Kandy-Esela-Perahara. This time it is from 07/07/2019 to 17/07/2019 you could watch online.

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D. C. Lawrence

06-Jul-2019

Amelia – I remember being very young and waiting in the doctor’s office for him to come and see me. He walked in, looked down at me, put his hand on my head, and looked directly in my eyes while speaking to me. I remember thinking to myself – “why is this man touching me when I do not even know him”. For the rest of my life (whether at the doctor’s office or just going about my daily life), when I meet someone for the first time, I judge how kind the person is, based on how their eyes smile at me when we are talking, and how willing and at ease they are touching my arm or my back during our conversation. When you are in a stressful situation, it truly is amazing how comforting and calming a look or touch can be – particularly when you do not know the person. I truly believe that there is some evolutionary connection between the eyes, hand and heart!! And I am going to keep saying this until more and more people hear it and start believing it – “it does not cost anything to be kind”. And Adaego, I feel your sentiment – Amelia, I am glad to hear that your daughter is well.

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Adaego M. Azi

06-Jul-2019

Amelia, I think hospitals are really scary. It must be worse when your daughter is getting an operation. I am really happy that she is okay. And I am glad that guy was so nice to you. Your profile says you are from Sri Lanka, cool. I'm going to search that country on the internet.