“Yeah! Now he is working at an airline group. An executive there, he gets a good salary, will get married this year.”
“So, how is your son? Haven’t seen for a long time. Not a brilliant like daughter, isn’t he?”
She was non-stop. My good friend. My Brutus. Better if she stabbed me with a dagger. It will come out with lesser pain.
Her daughter was my daughter's classmate. When they were studying for University entrance, my son was studying at home, for his third attempt for the same exam. He had major surgery to remove his colon, missed one full year in his life for the catastrophe. He was suffering from serious pain in his abdomen, severe bleeding in his intestine, not knowing he was reaching a life-threatening stage of ulcerative colitis. He was taking his medicines, claiming he was okay.
For some time, everything was calm. He entered the university he liked, had to eat whatever available. Again he was sick. He missed a full term for medication.
We were happy at least he was not suffering.
Then there was a wedding of one of his classmates. He was ready and asked his father to drop him there. I was so happy since he was able to attend some party. He could stay out with his friends.
But before long, they were back. Hid diarrhoea was back again. You could imagine my heartbreak.
My son could not enjoy life as others.
Days passed with desperate visits to doctors. A whole month, my husband was at the hospital beside him and with several blood transfusions. He was getting weaker and weaker. I was so afraid I am going to lose my son.
I cannot believe why I was not gone insane.
He was passing the most important period of a youngster's life – he was in his twenties. His higher studies, his future, his recognition as a winner or failure in life, all decided during that period.
That was why my friend gave that assessment to my son – as a failure.
I wanted to tell her that the best I received from my son was the day he was able to attend a wedding. The day he went out without hesitation, the day he happily played his computer game without having to stop it every thirty minutes.
The best of one’s life may not be the best of some other.
Same way, your precious chattel may not be the best in another’s life. Some may value freedom rather than monotonous office life. Some may prefer to live in an extended family home rather than building a nuclear family. Your life could be different in so many ways than mine.
Before assessing the achievements of one's life, try to tread the path they walked. Never criticize a child with his/her parents. A child itself is a jewel in their crown, not a burden.
This life story is a tribute to all the parents who fight for a normal life for their child!
1 : Your failure may not be the same for me
2 : Do not evaluate others on your perceptionsCategory: Failure / Subcategory: Failure may not be the same
Tags: failure, assessments, perceptual differences, winning life, views of life