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Amie Warwick


The Wedding You Want

Posted On:24-Mar-2020/11:14 pm

Your wedding should be one of the happiest days of your life. Marrying the person that you deem your soulmate should not only be a happy occasion for your family and guests, but for both you and your partner as well. We often hear that the couple being bewedded usually don't get to fully enjoy their own wedding. This could be caused by an array of issues: e.g., something inevitably goes wrong, something isn't to your liking, or you're simply too busy making sure everything goes to plan that you forget to sit back and enjoy your own wedding. It's understandable that you start to cater your wedding to those around you. To accommodate your friends and relatives’ food preferences, geographical location, and color scheme.

It seems that every decision is made for everyone except you and your partner. However, even when it disappoints others (even your family members), that’s okay; it’s important to stand up for what you and your partner want for your wedding. Although it can seem unnatural to disappoint or go against the wishes of our closest loved ones, you need to allow yourself to have the wedding you want, not what other people want, even if it will cause some tension.

I have a story that relates to this idea from my own wedding. When I was getting married, my soon-to-be husband and I decided we wanted four bridesmaids and four groomsmen. We didn't want too many and thought four of each would work out well. I chose my younger sister to be my Maid of Honor and two of my close friends for bridesmaids. However, I agonized over who should be my final bridesmaid. I have another sister; however, we don't get along very well because she can be self-centered and is a very abrasive person – she seems to rub everyone the wrong way. Nonetheless, I felt as though I had to have her as a bridesmaid. On the other hand, my husband's sister, Alice, and I were very close. I thought of her as a sister more so than my own sister. I really wanted Alice to be my bridesmaid but thought that choosing my husband's sister over my own would cause tension in the family. I wrestled with the decision for months, so I decided to get some insight from my mother about it. I told her how I felt, but she already knew that my older sister and I were not very close. She told me that choosing Alice as my fourth bridesmaid might cause some tension, but it was my wedding. In the end, I chose Alice. My sister was furious and made a scene, but she eventually got over it. When the wedding day came, I was able to walk down the aisle to see my soulmate, and the four women I really care about.

While some may say that my decision was selfish, I say that when it comes to your own wedding, allow yourself to be selfish. God-willing, we only get to have one wedding in our lives. I had a wonderful day celebrating my love with my family and friends, and I was able to do it my way (on my own terms).

I am not sure when the idea that your wedding “belongs” to other people became the norm. Nowadays, it is customary for the bride and groom to pay for their wedding, so why do we go out of our way to please everyone but ourselves. I get it, because our family and friends are attending, we also want to make it a once-in-a-life time-experience for them as well, but the day belongs to you and your husband. Now, whenever someone I know is getting married, and there is some family or friend drama, my advice is always – tell the person that if he or she can’t resolve their differences or stop adding more stress to your wedding, he or she will be disinvited; and be willing to keep your word, no matter who it is.


1 : YOUR wedding is YOUR day.

2 : Make decisions that will make your day special, even if others don’t agree.

3 : Don’t be afraid to disinvite even family members if you anticipate their added drama.

Category:  Marriage / Subcategory:  The Most Special Ceremony

Tags: marriage, soulmate, love, bridesmaids, groomsmen, special day, happy, family, friends, tension, stress, happy occasion

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Amie Warwick


Thanks Adaego, that was very nice of you to say.

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Adaego M. Azi


Amie, I totally agree. A girl dreams of her wedding her entire life and wants it to be perfect--and because of this, I would not have a problem telling someone off and disinviting them--I am normally a calm and rational person, but I could see myself being bridezilla when it comes to my wedding. Amie, you are so beautiful, I bet you looked amazing on your wedding day. Awesome duppydom.

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D. C. Lawrence


I am not sure I fully understand why friends or family members would cause drama at a wedding. Unless you are part of the wedding party, you have no worries in the world. You simply show up at the wedding, chat to people you know, enjoy the festivities around you, and eat and drink your face off. Although, I should mention-a few years ago, a friend I have known for many years got married, and she did not invite me to the wedding. At first, I was very irked, but then I thought about how expensive weddings are, and often the couple must make pinpoint decisions about who to invite. It occurred to me that perhaps she did not think our relationship was as important as I thought it was. Live and learn. Thanks Amie.

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S. Jakes


Amie, I totally get it. It’s expected that in planning a wedding you might have a bridezilla, but that is all the drama you want. I think family members can be the worse for being demanding and creating drama. I understand your point, but I cannot imagine, for example, telling one of my aunts that I have had enough, and she is disinvited to the wedding. That would not go over well. Glad to hear that your wedding was awesome :-)