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Amie Warwick

 

Who Will Be The People In Your Life?

Posted On:18-Nov-2019/2:06 pm

Many years ago, when I finally became an adult, there were many things I realized I could now do. I could go to parties when I wanted, live by myself and decorate my home however I felt, and have whatever I wanted for dinner whenever I felt like it. These were some of the most exciting aspects of becoming an adult. However, over the years, I have realized a fantastic feature of being an adult in the real world that I never appreciated before. As an adult, I can spend time with whomever I see fit.

When you are a child or a teenager, you are forced to spend time with many people you may not like: relatives, the children of your parents’ friends, and even your siblings. Growing up, any family event or wedding would usually involve my parents forcing me to talk to people, whose company I really didn’t enjoy. For example, for every family function, my parents would invite their best friends who had two kids the same age as me. These kids, Alex and Harry, were complete horrors – they were rude, insulting, annoying, and I didn’t get along with them. When I told my parents about their incessant irritating behaviors (many, many times, I might add), they told me that, “I had to deal with it, and I should learn to get along with people because I will not always like everyone I meet – that’s just life”. Then, I became an adult and realized the magical truth of the matter: I never have to see or speak to Alex and Harry again. While this is a small victory, it availed an opportunity that I never knew existed before - I can surround myself with the people I like.

Of course, this isn’t always the case. As an adult, there are many situations where you are forced to be around others you don’t get along with – people at work is a main example. But, when referring to my free time as an adult, I can choose to be with whomever I want. 

When I planned my wedding, my parents asked me if I was inviting Alex and Harry. I proudly and strongly said no!! – this was my wedding and I didn’t want them there. While my parents didn’t agree, they respected my decision – a right that I never had growing up.   

This revelation is astounding, because, as adults, we are all able to surround ourselves with good people. While the world can be stressful and chaotic, we have the choice to spend our free time with the people we enjoy, and most importantly, with the people we “like”. That said, sometimes we have no choice but to spend time with those we simply don’t like (e.g., an in-law or the partner of a close friend), but we still have the choice to spend as little time as possible with them.

When spending time with somebody, ask yourself: “would I invite this person to my wedding?”. If the answer is no, then why are you spending (wasting) your free time with this person? By determining who you want to surround yourself with, you can create a world for yourself that is positive and enjoyable. You’re an adult – use your new-found freedom (or maybe it’s not so new) and decide who you want to spend your valuable time with.

Takeaways:

1 : Children and teenagers are often forced to spend time with people they do not like

2 : Adulthood comes with a lot of freedoms. Like getting to decide who to spend time with

3 : Surround yourself with only the people who you like and who bring you joy

Category:  Other People / Subcategory:  Making Choices

Tags: being an adult, spending time, opportunity, choice, free time

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D. C. Lawrence

23-Nov-2019

Amie, I liked reading your duppydom. It really is such a simple concept-fill your life with people who love and support you-people who you like. But it often takes many years of trial and error before we reach that light bulb moment-it is my life, and I have the freedom to surround myself with only the people who make my life better. It took me years to come to this realization. Well said, Bruce. Good read, Amie.

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Nadine Wu

22-Nov-2019

lol, there is nothing worse than having to spend time with people you have no interest in or do no like--and yes, parents are famous for forcing us to do that. And one of my girlfriend's boyfriend is another example--god, this guy is boring. Thank you Amie.

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Lisa Steffler

22-Nov-2019

Amie, this was another comforting read. Luckily, in Atlanta, the majority of the people around me are my church-going friends (except for my husband and children), so they all have good souls (at least most of them) and they do bring me joy. Bruce, I am another oldie with not so new-found freedom, so I have learned a thing or two over the years--such as, life is too short to waste time with the miserable.

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Bruce Peters

20-Nov-2019

Amie, as an adult, with not so new-found freedom, I can attest to the fact that being able to decide who I surround myself with is life changing. Additionally, adults who do not do that, usually do not have the will power to say no, or they are afraid of the repercussions if they do. And I agree with you 100%, when you are bold enough to choose the people in your life, your life will improve exponentially.

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Adaego M. Azi

19-Nov-2019

I really like this duppydom and I get it--there is so much aggravation in this world, we should surround ourselves with people who bring us joy. I also think that my generation always want to hang out with people our own age--something I try to do is to talk to my aunts regularly, just to get a different perspective on life—and even though they are older, they are fun to hang around with--they make my life better. Thanks Amie.