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Amara Kone

 

Why You Should Learn To Always Forgive Yourself

Posted On:21-Feb-2021/9:38 pm

The importance of forgiveness in our lives cannot be overemphasized – it helps us free ourselves from the pain, agony and bitterness which we deliberately store up in our minds. Forgiveness gives us the power to let go of the horrible past and look forward to a better future. It is so liberating to forgive, yet most of us see it as a daunting task, especially when it comes to forgiving ourselves. Why do we find it so easy to forgive others, but not very easy to forgive ourselves?

While it takes some people months or years to forgive, some others never forgive at all. There are consequences for unforgiveness. When we fail to forgive, we end up inviting anger, resentment, sleeping disorders and even physical problems into our lives. Sometimes, we even get so preoccupied with the grudges in our hearts that we begin to lose control over the things happening in our lives.

Here are a few reasons why you should learn to forgive yourself:

1) You’re Not Perfect

Like I mentioned before, most of us find it easier to forgive others than ourselves. This kind of behaviour is caused by our intense desire for perfection. In our quest for perfection, we set so many high standards and punish ourselves for making the least mistakes. However, we are only human, and mistakes are inevitable. In fact, mistakes are important for our growth as humans. We should also learn to accept the fact that there is no such thing as being perfect. We should not expect it from ourselves or from others. As soon as we accept this fact, we will open a whole new world of forgiveness.

2) It Brings Freedom

When we fail to forgive ourselves, we are trapped by our own negative emotions and our minds make us believe that we are headed for doom, because of the mistake we made in the past. But when we accept our mistakes and let go, we free ourselves from the bondage of worry, anger and resentment. The freedom that comes with forgiveness is important – it liberates us from the shackles of unforgiveness and set us on the path of progress. Progress is essential. We are progressing from unforgiveness, to self-forgiveness, to forgiving others.

3) Forgiveness Makes You Grow

Growth and development are really important to every human being on the face of the earth. While physical growth is great, the kind of growth we’re referring to is mental growth. As human beings, we are bound to make mistakes. However, when we accept our mistakes, we learn valuable life lessons from them, and those lessons help us to grow mentally. Self-forgiveness is the key to continual growth and development. Both of these are also essential. Self-forgiveness leads to growth and development, but as we grow mentally, it gives us a whole new perspective on forgiveness. Continual growth and development are also what makes life worth living.

How To Start Practicing Self-forgiveness

Self-forgiveness involves acceptance; you need to accept that there are certain things you can’t change, and also understand that the future presents an opportunity to make things better. The first step towards self-forgiveness is to stop being too hard on yourself for past mistakes. You must come to terms with who you've become and say to yourself “I forgive you.” Yes, you need to actually say those words to yourself; it takes the load of anger and resentment off your chest. This cannot simply be lip service. You must believe it and mean it. It might also be a good idea to include these words in your daily affirmations. This way, you say these words over and over each day, until it sinks in. Remember, the goal is to eliminate any burden that is weighing you down and holding you back from experiencing internal peace.

Forgiveness is freedom and we all need freedom - it’s priceless.

Takeaways:

1 : Self-forgiveness brings freedom.

2 : Self-forgiveness makes you grow.

3 : Self-forgiveness is self-acceptance.

Category:  the Self/Self-Improvement / Subcategory:  First, Forgive Yourself

Tags: growth, development, freedom, progress, acceptance, mistakes, anger, resentment, affirmation, peace, perfection, power, unforgiveness

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Adaego M. Azi

20-Mar-2021

Amara--I like the idea of forgiveness bringing freedom. There are so many things we are unhappy about that we do in life and if we hold onto them, they will hold us and trap us. I also like what Lisa said about having shame and guilt for the things we do not do in life. The same thing would apply--regret will trap us.

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Lisa Steffler

06-Mar-2021

Amara, this is a good topic. I think a lot of the guilt and shame we feel comes from things we do or do not do in life--so we feel we deserve to be punished--this is why we hold onto the guilt and shame. I have made my fair share of mistakes in life, but I know God will forgive me, so this makes it easier to forgive myself. Have more hope and faith in yourself and just let it go.

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S. Jakes

06-Mar-2021

Amara, I would think the best reason for forgiving yourself is because you are not perfect. What would be the point of walking around every day worrying about something out of your control – nobody is perfect. I have made enough mistakes in my life to know I am not perfect. There is no point carrying around negative emotions about this.